Let's Talk Education

Let's Talk Education

Have you ever noticed how we have this tendency to shout or speak exceptionally slowly to people from different cultures or who speak a different first language? We speak to them like they are thick… or deaf. 

 

I don’t think the majority of us do it because we think they are thick… it just seems to be the natural way we think they might understand us.

 

People, once they realise or are told that Niamh can't verbally communicate, tend to speak to her like she’s a baby… or thick.

 

This does not go down well with Niamh. You are either going to get blanked and ignored with a very clear turn of the head or even worse you are going to get the eye roll and a face like thunder.

 

Niamh understands like any other almost 4-year-old. She gets jokes. She thinks farting is funny and even worse thinks it’s hilarious when I swear at the dogs for traipsing mud through the house.

 

She knows colours. Her favourite colour is pink. She loves to be read too and loves dancing to music (a big fan of house music at the moment).

 

Niamh goes to a mainstream nursery that is linked to a mainstream school. She absolutely loves it. In fact, I’m the mother whose child gets angry when she has to go home.

 

She has the most exceptional teacher and the loveliest group of friends. They have accepted her for exactly who she is. She is included in everything. Her friends help hold her beaker when she’s thirsty and feed her a snack when they sit next to her. It’s as sweet and amazing as you can imagine.

 

What I have realised is that children don’t think like adults, they don’t question her understanding. They don’t think she’s thick or the mental age of a baby. They just think she can’t communicate like them or use her body like they can.

 

And guess what. They are totally right.

 

Adults limit children. A bold statement isn’t it?

 

We are what puts limitations on children as they grow, we are the ones that mould their thought processes and how much belief they have in themselves. That’s us. That’s our society. That’s what our education system does too.

 

I was a super average student at school. And to be honest I hated authority and how no one thought outside the box. I wanted someone to give me a really good reason why things should be a certain way.

 

From the start, people have continuously spoken to me about Niamh’s educational life, “special schools” for disabled children. But also, the thing that really ruffled my feathers? The pessimism about her staying in a mainstream school - more specifically the mainstream school her nursery is affiliated with.

 

My response?  FUCK THAT.

 

Niamh can go to whichever school Niamh chooses to go too. Just as I did.

 

Why on earth can’t she go to the same school as her friends?

 

Ok so it's not so straightforward, I appreciate that. N needs a one on one TA to help. The council won't provide one as it’s not a state-funded school. Fine. I can do that.

 

She needs a communication device to help her communicate… we are already on that. Fun fact for you - did you know in the whole of west Somerset SEN support services there isn’t one E-Tran Communication Board? Not one. It's one of the most basic devices for communication for children who can’t sign. And there isn’t one available in the area. Fine. I'll organise one.

 

So now what? What problems would there be for Niamh to go to a mainstream school? None really. But actually, the main blatant reason why there still is? Because she doesn’t fit the mould. She’s not “normal” and that scares people a little. It’s the unknown.

 

I’ve learnt quite quickly that we have a tendency to over complicate things which in turn creates limitations.

 

I had someone mention in a meeting that the school would need a toilet with armrests and special things to help support her. I quickly asked why? She doesn’t have that at home and I don’t intend to get them? She needs help getting on and off the toilet but she sits there beautifully on her own. Why start adding for no reason yet. In the politest way, everyone needs to calm down. She’s got this.

 

Stop limiting her before she’s proven us otherwise. Niamh will tell you whether she needs armrests whilst she has a wee. Until she does? They aren’t happening.

 

This goes for every part of Niamh's educational life. Why make it so difficult. It's not. It's just a bit different, it doesn’t quite fit into the box we are all so used to conforming too. Niamh has every right to the same education as every other child out there. Screw the box.

 

All children learn differently. All children have strengths and weaknesses in different subjects. And Niamh is just the same. (Lord knows I hope she doesn’t take after me with my lack of mathematical skills).

 

There is an incredible girl in the USA with RETT syndrome. She’s 18, non-verbal and has just been made valedictorian of her high school. Mainstream high school I should add. She’s earned a scholarship to Florida State College to study Science and Engineering and plans to continue on to study this at UCF.

 

Yeah, I know. Just because she can’t move or speak like us we automatically limited her presumed knowledge didn’t we? But look at that girl go.

 

Now of course if Niamh wants to go down the maths and science route I’m all for it. If she wants to become a journalist or writer, I'm all for it too. DJ? Absolutely. Fashion designer? Yep, I’ll be your number one fan kid.

 

But the point is this. Don’t limit my child before she’s even got going. She’s only just begun. Trust me, the girl’s on a mission and she’s got zero limitations for herself and I’m not going to get in her way or let anyone else get in the way. I’m clearing the way as best I can.

 

Her limitations aren’t in her head; they are just in her physical being.  And I think we can all agree that the majority of all our limitations… they are all in our heads.

 

 

 

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It Takes A Village

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